Today the dharma talk is going to be on non-attachment, and what does that really mean? And so, that consideration of, what do wants really bring out in us, personality wise? How do we know what we want is even what we need? Can we be okay? Can we be okay with just being? I think contentment and peace has to do with being okay as you are, so full and fulfilled. And, of course, that requires acting in the world and creating in the world, but it does not require that we be attached to the end results. I hope that you find the talk as interesting as I did.
I took some pearls, we'll say, from a friend, and a conversation that was being had that I just thought was brilliant. I weaved into the yoga teachings, and I hope that you find it useful in your everyday life. Enjoy the talk.
... about this ... Okay, that's good. I was thinking about there's ... In yoga, we talk about non-attachment. Most yoga teachers talk about non-attachment, the Gita. All the texts talk about non-attachment. It's really hard for us, because we think not being attached to something, initially, we think it's boring, or that it's just like that means you don't care about anything?
I'm going to ... I have to read off of this, because there was a ... I thought this was an interesting way to think about non-attachment, and this does not come from the yoga teachings. It comes from a conversation I was having with a friend, and I took out my phone and wrote it down, because I thought it was really good.
What he was saying, so when you think about attachment, it's kind of like you could talk about it as like desire, right, or wanting. This is how we were talking about it, and he was saying that when you want something, it triggers your negative personality traits. Right? That's the first piece, which I thought was really interesting, because it's true, right? The moment you want something, and you really want it, don't you start ... If you really go down the path, you start doing things that you wouldn't normally do to get it, that you don't think that that's who you are?
You're sort of like ... The lines get a little bit blurry, right? Not always. I'm not saying it's not good to have goals, okay? I'm talking about when we really just wake up every morning and want something.
Then the other piece of that, and this is all yoga teaching, when you get what you want, what happens?
You ... yeah, you just get a new want. Right?
When we go for external, I mean, no matter how big it's become, this is why I think sometimes I used to ... Michelle and I shared a teacher. We do still share a teacher, Lama Marut. Some of you may have seen him when he came, right? Yeah, from training.
He's amazing, but he would always say, "People either bottom out or top out." I think about that "top out" piece. People get whatever they want, right? All the things that we think we desire, and then what? You retire? They send you off with a Rolex, and a week later, no one knows who you are. You know what I mean? That can be ... It can be both sides, and it's interesting.
So, if we're constantly outsourcing, right, when we get something, it doesn't really satisfy us, because then we've got to find a new something. Then we're constantly creating that cycle of never being satisfied. Does that make sense?
Then this is the last piece, is that presumption. How do you know what you want is even good for you? Right? This is like, to me, those three things are the whole ... That's like ... I mean, you could take the text of yoga and break that down into exactly what it is, right, into thinking that we know what's best. I know what's best for me. I have to have this job, this relationship, this thing this way, this ... you know. And I know, right? I know that this sickness is not good for me. I know that this struggle is not good for me. I know that this feeling ... whatever it is.
The goal would be ... and I'll move this in as we close our eyes in a moment, is that we talked about stillness a lot in yoga. When we can train ourselves, this is what we're doing here, to be quiet, to be still, and then to choose how to act versus react. I mean, we hear all these things. We know all these things, right? But really, how do you decrease that constant need for want, is to be okay being, just being, right?
Because it's very ... I mean, you've all had those experiences where you're okay just being? I mean, today might not be one, or it might be, right? It's not linear. But that's the goal maybe, right? If you want anything, they call this self-interested enlightenment. I think this came from Lama Marut too. I'm on a Lama Marut kick. But if you want anything, right, be interested in your own peace, your own happiness, your own sense of clarity, or whatever. That's the thing to go after relentlessly.
Okay, so did you like that as much as me? I thought it was really good. I was like the rude person. I'm taking out my phone while he's talking, because I thought it was really good. Okay.
All right. Let's close our eyes. Okay, and just sit tall for a moment. Okay. Part of that process of awareness is to love yourself with your breath for a moment to simply be, okay? If we can begin to act from the point of stillness, it's really a game-changer.
Allow yourself to be here. Let go of any desire or habits, right? The mind itself is really addictive. It likes its habits. It likes to know what it's going to do, you know? It really will run the show if we don't intercept, okay? Allow yourself, instead of maybe controlling, or even just to be aware of where we control and want to run the show, all right? That's huge.
Then to allow yourself to start wherever it is that you can today. We get that wanting versus non-attachment, it's really an opportunity to reclaim your own life, and to be creative in your own action, to identify less with the, maybe, the negative traits or the dark spots, right? Because that is not who we are. It is part of us, but it is not who we are.
Through that awareness, you can allow it to just begin to dissolve, simply be being aware. Then behind that is the beauty and the awe and the wonder. It's already in you.
What a beautiful thought, right? What you are searching for is already in you. What you desire is here. It always reminds me of the Wizard of Oz, when at the end, Dorothy says, "There's no place like home," you know? We go all this way, we do all this stuff, and the reality is, it's already in us.